Turning 30, In Memphis

The holiday season is a speacial time for al of us. I tend to enjoy it a little more because I have a birthday in December! The 21st to be exact. This year is bitter sweet. I am FINALLY turning 30, but in a new city and no one to celebrate it with me. No "Last Week of Your 20's" parties and massive hangovers to make me want to swear off drinking for LIFE. Instead it comes quietly. Instead of getting my 20's out of my system, I am spending time reflecting on the past 30 years.

Some things I am quite proud of. I stared down any rollercoaster put in my way (after my darling father FORCED me on my very first one when i was about 5). I always found a way to be around horses and even had a few chances to show a few judges what I was made of. I trained my own horse for 4-H. I made alot of friends. I sang my heart out in choir and praise and worship teams. I was Glinda The Good Witch in a city wide production of Wizard of Oz, complete with solos!!! I played volleyball and learned how to skateboard on my knees. I played nintendo until the wee hours and even snuck out of the house a time or two. I held jobs since I was 13 working as a dog bather, barn helper and a waitress.

I look back over my life and wonder how things might have turned out had I done a few things diferently. Where would I be? Would I happier or would I still be the same, just in a diferent place with different circumstances. I find it funny. Especially looking at my present situation. I certainly am not where I expected to be.

I never expected to be in Tennessee. I have always been a Texas girl. Sure I had my stint in Florida, but I always knew I'd somehow get back to the motherland. However, that didnt happen. Instead I ended up in Alabama for 5 years. Almost all of those years I wish I could just erase from my memory. Though I did pick up a GREAT friend along the way and I am sure we'll be lifelong friends now. From Alabama, we ended up in Memphis. Not sure how that happened. I never expected to be here! Alas, I am here and making the best of it.

So, from here on I embark on my 30's. I guess this is where we all really learn to grow up. What will the next 30 bring? Will there be more moves? Will there be happiness? Will there be sadness? Will I finally be able to finish my education and get a degree? Will I end back up in Texas? Or perhaps will I be taken farther away?

For now, I am just going to sit back and think about my life and look forward to what's to come.

On Crutches, In Memphis

Who knew that a simple rainy day would interfere with me walking in Memphis? Yet, here I am sitiing on the couch with my leg propped up, my trusty crutches, by my side. Let me just say how much it STINKS to be stuck on the couch this time of year. It's Dec!!! There's shopping to be done, parades to see, trees to decorate, yet none of that will be done by me. Okay so my laptop and credit card help with shopping online. It's just not as fun as shopping in person!! I dont really like shopping, but I do like gettng out of the house. I havent been out since Wed and that was just to urgent care. Not really a place I'd like to visit ever again...

Some of my friends through the years know what damage I have done to my knees by riding. After highschool my knees were just never the same. I remember back at 17, after long rides, I'd have to be pulled off my horse. Then into my 20's my right knee went out several times. Once at a (really cool!!) bar in St Pete, FL where I was having SO MUCH FUN! Then I got to be carried out to the ambulance by 2 of the BIGGEST security gaurds I have ever seen. I sort of felt like an Indian Princess who'd been injured in war... or somethig. I could go on and on about that night. The homeless guy who OD'd and had to drink charcoal was by far the highlight... The other times were simple. Once I was standing still holding a can of yogurt and my knee went out. That was fun. Really, so much fun.

Here I am again. Awaiting my fate!! I was so hoping my experiance with the Memphis medical staff would have been after the holidays as I searched for a rhumetologist. But, noooooo. A simple rainy day took that and my holiday fun away from me!! Yes, I blame it on the rain. Milli Vanilli agrees!! See how far I have fallen?? I am taking advice from has been, lip synching, suicidical pop stars...

stay tuned, this saga will continue!!