Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Losing My Religion.... In Memphis!

To be honest, I wasn't going to post about this in a blog. However, due some some questions and off remarks, I felt it was best to be straight forward on this subject. I felt that honesty is important in any friendship. I want you to know what you have with me. I don't want to give any false impressions. Take it or leave it. :-) So with out further ado, my coming out of the closet blog: Losing My Religion...In Memphis.

I began questioning things a few years ago. I read some articles and books about religion that surprised me. Like many Christians before me, I never really dug deep. I just accepted most everything I heard at face value. In my adult years, things began to stop making sense. I found myself questioning why more often than not. When I dug deep, what I found shocked me. Why hadn't I ever been told any of this? More importantly why hadn't I ever questioned things before?

It all led to my belief in God being forced, desperate. I tried. I prayed. I went to church. I meditated. I did all of it. One day I finally just realized that I was forcing myself to do the impossible. In all reality people, we cant MAKE ourselves believe something can we? If I were to tell you Santa is in fact real, you just need to have enough Faith, could you do it? Let's take it further, pick a Hindu God. Could you believe that a pink elephant controls our luck? Than if we just made enough posters to parade at celebrations, if we just meditated long enough, if we just gave up enough offerings, Ganesh would be real? Could you do it? If you understand why you can dismiss all those fictitious beings, perhaps you can begin to understand why I take it one god further. If there is one thing you take from this blog, please understand that the majority of people do not choose to not believe, we simply just don't.

To say I lost my religion in Memphis is a bit of a stretch, in fact it began way before moving here, but it was finalized here. For most people walking away from any religion takes time. There is a lot to process and a lot to work through. For many, it means keeping everything under wraps for a while. Losing those we are closest too is hard. I recently told my husband Shawn that I felt like a huge part of my life was going down a path and the people that were once closest with me were walking away in the other direction. Outing myself is quite hard to do. I risk losing some of you.


Do you want me to just come out and say it? Okay. I am an atheist. I do not believe in any god. Yes, I am quite happy, thank you for asking. In fact, not having any belief in god has allowed me to mature, cope with my illness and be quite happy. My life is indeed my own and what I make of it. Pretty simple.

Now lets get down to business. Some of you wont like it one bit. That's fine. I never said you had to accept me did I? If you choose to de-friend me, so be it. I don't really care to have people in my life who can't accept me for who I am. I'm a very liberal, atheist woman who LOVES life. That may upset some people. That's okay. You are who you are. Right? I've never deleted any one off FB for their beliefs, nor have I defriended anyone. That's kind of the point about being a human, right?? Our mind is our own.

Does this change a lot? Well, I may post some atheistic quotes form time to time or engage in some discussion that strikes my fancy. Will I go to church with you? No. Don't even ask. Can you pray for me? Hey what you do with your time is your own business. I prefer chillin' with a nice glass of wine in the evening air, but to each their own! Okay, I jest... (not about the wine, that's just me keeping it real).


For those of you who will stick around....catch my upcoming blogs:
1. A Year...In Memphis yes it's almost been a year! I cant wait for this blog!!!
2. True Blood Season 3 recap! (once i get caught up)