Spring Brings Change..... In Memphis

Not too long ago, my daughter asked me "Mom, if you could get the chance to ride again, would you? What if money wasn't an issue and you could take lessons and get back into showing, wouldn't you love that? Don't you want to jump again? What if you could do cross country, like you always wanted? Didn't you used to love riding more than anything?" Yes, I did. Would I do it? I don't know. I had a very bad spill and I used that as an excuse for a long time. The thing is, when that horse threw me and I was stuck in the stirrup and dragged against a fence, for what seemed like an eternity, I got back on. I refused to be carried away. I looked at the dents on my helmet where my head hit a fence post more than 7 times and I knew I HAD to get back on. So why now, 7 years later, if given the chance to ride again, do I use that day as an excuse? Have I really forgotten the freedom I felt while riding? Did I really give up that dream? That horse could have killed me, yet I was heart broken when I moved and had to sell her. I still miss that crazy mustang. Why have I let myself accept excuses that were never valid to begin with?

Most likely, riding is out of my future, but because of the ridiculous expense not because I took a wild ride on a mustang. What other excuses have I been giving myself? What things in my life are far more important than climbing into a saddle that I have allowed myself to let go of out of fear, out of self defamation, out of laziness? Having a happy life isn't easy. Maybe that's why so many people aren't happy. Being happy means taking risks. A few bad decisions can ruin one's ability to takes risks. Looking back at that fateful riding day, I sat on the back of my mustang I had been training for 2 years. She trusted very slowly, but we made so many strides. I sat there and knew I had done well.... That's when you STOP. Call it a day. Next lesson, you try to duplicate it. Then you take it a step further. I sat there, in awe, I had FINALLY sat on her back. Why not ask her to take a step? That was a bad risk. That was one step too far and I knew it. So when she stepped, realized I was still there and stiffened, I knew I was about to get really hurt and could do nothing but hold on for dear life... why did I not take that lesson and say "it's okay to take risks, just listen when you take that step too far....it's okay to try again another day. "

Here we go. Guess now, after 7 years, it's okay to face the fear of failure and hurt. It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to figure out what it is I really want. Just have to have the right dose of reality mixed in....