Thanksgiving Not....In Memphis

This year my mother decided to do something different, she rented a cabin in Broken Bow, OK. Sounded like lots of fun. We all needed to get away. As with all our family adventures, things rarely turn out the way we expect.

It all started on the drive to Broken Bow. My children proceeded to argue and throw tantrums the entire trip up. Not to worry, I told myself. They'd be out running in the woods in no time. Besides if attitudes didn't improve, by no means was I required to return home with them, well in my own dark and twisted mind. I learned that the road to Broken Bow was long, slow and every 30 miles or so we'd hit a town that the world seemed to have forgotten. Lesson learned, I wont be retiring anywhere in Arkansas.

After being stared down by a few gas station attendants (apparently they find well dressed and well spoken people an oddity in those parts), we finally crossed the border into Oklahoma. That's when I expected things to turn around. Silly me.

Broken Bow is a strange town. I should have known what to expect when the first motel I see is called "End of The Trail". It really looked like a place you go at the end of driving a wagon cross country and just prepare to die, lonely and cold. They did offer HBO for anyone wanting to die somewhat entertained. The Walmart in town was a regular Walmart. Not even a super center. I had thought every Walmart had been turned into a super center by now... Again... Silly me.

The kids were filled with excitement at this point. We were just a few short miles from the cabin. For about 2 hours we stayed a few short miles from the cabin, because we were lost, with no cell signal. Eventually I give up and head to the main road. Then my cell rings and I can hear arguing in the back ground as my sister screams "Everybody shut up I finally have her on the phone!" Ahhh, family fun time has begun. They were lost too. Knowing just how well the four of us (my mom, my two sisters and I) handle stress, I could tell we would all need a stiff drink before speaking to each other. They had finally received more "accurate" directions. Unfortunately, I was in some parallel universe and was on the correct road, but in another time and place. Turns out this road has two entrances (information that could have been helpful 2 hours prior) and I had been driving up and down the wrong section of road.

Nice.... it's now raining and pitch black because we are in the middle of no-where. I make my way to join the Cadillac Crew and immediately a trucker decides he doesnt like city folk and tries to kill me. I'm in tears and screaming obscenities, like he can actually hear me. Luckily, I make my way (jerk trucker and all) to the Cadillac Crew and we caravan to the cabin...which we find with no problem.

To say that getting up the driveway coming up the road is difficult, would be an understatement. No, unless you are on foot, it's impossible. However, that was in the directions. Another helpful piece of information would have also been that there is only one place to turn around, but I guess that was just assumed. The drive way was steep. Then once you get to the top, there is very little parking. We had 3 vehicles. In order for someone to leave, one vehicle had to be moved. Nice.

It's still raining and the firewood left for us is, yes, wet. Good. Who needs a fire when it's freezing, raining and the cabin has no heat?? Not us! We're tough mountain women! Oh wait, we're not. Hmm...

We unpack, fix the kids some dinner, then Mary, Anna and I proceed to drink until 2 am. Sometimes it's the only way to deal with stress and keep warm. Mom just ate M&M's all night. Hey, she deals with it her way, we deal with it ours.

That was just the first night.

Next day, Thanksgiving! Hurray! FOOD! Mimosas! This day went well. Mary and I felt adventurous enough to head to Walmart. We bought a few supplies (mom needed M&M's) and came home to get the feast on! It was now almost 1 and not even the turkey had been started... Can anyone say late dinner? It all ended well. We had a lovely meal complete with hominy, greens beans, mashed potatoes, stuffing, yams, more mimosas, ect. The fire wood had even dried out enough to make a fire!

Friday, day of adventure! We toured Broken Bow only to find there are few things to do. Walmart, the casino and hiking. Well, we had done Walmart and hiking was on the books for Sat so off to the casino. It was bad, not even alcohol is available! You had to get your own soda from a machine! The horror! We all lost and regretted going. So by 7:30pm, we were back home. The girls and I built a fire with non dairy creamer and enjoyed the night.

Saturday we hiked. Well, up one trail and were all too tired to go any further. It may have been that none of us were dressed for a hike or had any provisions (ie water). That might have been it... Mary and I ran back to Walmart for starter logs (non dairy creamer, while flammable, isn't ideal for starting campfires). On our way home we stopped off at a gas station.I noticed an interesting pole and rope just outside. We contemplated for a bit on what it could be then went inside. After buying silly bands and cigarette gum we went back out and stood talking. A truck pulls up... From the truck a very dead deer is tossed underneath the pole-rope thingy. I tell Mary to "get in the car we need to leave!" They proceeded to tie the rope around the deer to haul it up for who knows...So That's what that thing was for. Grossed out (details of what else we saw will be spared) we headed back home to make Whistling Mary 3. (you tube links provided later).

Sunday we packed up and headed home.

It was a great time with my family. Next time I hope we end up in a more equipped cabin (ie enough plates for everyone) and in a bit more active area (ie not Deliverance material). It is surely an Thanksgiving I'll never forget.